Long-term stress is a true killer. It’s how disease manifests and grows within. A genuine sense of belonging and wholehearted love of who we are (truly accepting ourselves) can reduce the impact of many life stressors, including even chronic physical illness (see my August Blog on finding the courage to live life true to ourselves, not the life others expected of us). Through acceptance, a lot of suffering can be eased, I mean the suffering about the suffering.
It’s tough when physical and emotional pain are uncontrollable parts of life, but much of that pain is caused by our resistance to pain, our focusing on pain, our fear of pain, and our judging the pain (and ourselves).
I’m not suggesting denying a challenging situation or illness but instead saying that if we can confront it compassionately, instead of furiously wanting it to go away, perhaps we can learn to bend towards finding a way to accept it. To be constantly fighting reality is like spending your life trying to teach a cat to bark. If we are living it, it will be kinder to accept it. There is so much we can only surrender to. We can’t slow time. We can’t change others. We can’t stop the ageing process. We can’t change the weather, or the TV schedules, or the suffering, or where we were born, or what our natural skills are. And that is okay because that is how it is.
Here are some ideas for things that can help us to move away from ruminating about the past/worrying about the future and bring us gently back into the present moment:
- Potter – leave some time free for just pottering about wherever you feel most comfortable.
- Stretch – just put your arms above head, wiggle your hips in every direction, fold forward and just let your head and arms dangle (no need to reach for your toes) and if a yawn naturally comes, it means you are letting go of stress – very satisfying. Let your shoulders drop if you notice they are up around your ears. Relax your jaw and hands if they are clenched. Set a timer for five minutes to look away from all screens and look out of a window/across the room to let your eyes find a different focal length. Maybe close your eyes and notice if your body hurts/feels tense anywhere and needs to relax.
- Listen to a song – lots of research shows the healing power of instrumental music in particular.
- Splash your face with cold water and/or sip ice-cold water – this has a calming effect and is much more accessible than going wild swimming/taking a cold shower (although those things are really good for resetting our nervous system if you feel up to something a bit more extreme!).
- Look at nature or videos of nature, or comedic animal videos – surely the best reason the internet was invented.
- Smile or fake-smile – it might make you feel weird to start with but persevere, it’s worth it! The body doesn’t know the difference, so you might as well help it along.
- Eat less sugar.
- Have some electrolytes in a big glass of water.
- Name something you’re grateful for.
- Do a random act of kindness.
- Become aware of any regularly recurring thoughts that might be scaring you, and remember they are not the truth/facts, just thoughts, and you can choose to acknowledge them without getting attached to them. Instead, just let them go.
- Ask for help.
- Ask for a hug.
- Have a rest – properly relax in a comfy chair, go back to bed for a nap (no more than 20 minutes), treat yourself to a manicure/pedicure/reflexology/massage (any self-care treatment of your choice).
- Read “I haven’t been completely honest with you”, by Miranda Hart.
