Addiction can affect us in many ways. We often think of addiction as being all about drugs and alcohol, but the reality is that we can also become addicted to many other things: overworking, self-harm, thrill seeking, eating, attention seeking, porn, or a combination of these issues. For me, the opposite of addiction is not sobriety or forcing ourselves not to do the thing we so desperately want to, rather it’s finding connection. Connection to other people, to meaningful work, to meaningful values, to sympathetic joy, and to acknowledging and overcoming childhood trauma. When we feel disconnected from these things, for whatever reason, our threat response (flight/fight/freeze) is triggered and we can end up isolated and struggling with anxiety, anger, and depression, which can have devastating effects on our relationships and on our ability to look after ourselves – little wonder we turn to addictions to help us to cope, to numb the pain, to distract ourselves, to survive. The trouble is that in the long term our addictions usually become unmanageable and harm us rather than help us: what started as a way of surviving ends up being the thing that threatens to destroy us.
In therapy I help clients to understand their addictions, not as a lack of willpower but as a cry for help, their bodies trying to get their attention to let them know that their choices are unsustainable, that they need to reevaluate their lives and find their way back to connection. Together, we learn how they have come to feel isolated and disconnected and formulate a plan for getting back on track, for creating the life they want to have: you can liberate yourself from addiction.
You can find out more about my therapy and fees here https://www.theexetercounsellor.com/how-it-works/ and options for contacting me here https://www.theexetercounsellor.com/contact-me/.
