We are a whole organism: our brain doesn’t function without our body, and our body doesn’t function without our brain. This means that the idea of physical health and mental health being separate doesn’t feel appropriate at all. If we are struggling physically in any way, that will have adverse effects on our feelings and thoughts – we may experience stress and anxiety, or depression. Equally, if we’re struggling emotionally or cognitively, whether that’s because of, for example, stress and anxiety, or depression, or grief, that will have adverse effects on our body – we may experience pain, tension, digestive issues, reproductive issues or auto immune conditions. It’s fair to say that our tissues affect our issues, and our issues affect our tissues. Also, physical issues can trigger our threat response (fight/flight/freeze), which is so unhelpful as that interferes with our immune system being able to function well and only adds to our anxiety/anger/depression.
Many see cancer as the ultimate challenge and talk about “fighting” cancer. The roller-coaster of the process of diagnosis and treatment can feel terrifying: on a rollercoaster, you will be strapped in and sent off into the terror, knowing that there is nothing you can do about it until you emerge, wobbly and battered at the other end. You manage by getting you head down and dealing with it as best you can at the time. It’s only afterwards, when you are on solid ground again, that you can look back with amazement and view what you have experienced and marvel at your courage. This seems to be an analogy for what happens after diagnosis and during treatment. The end of the ride is equivalent to the end of treatment. And this is where you can begin, bit by bit, to deal with all that you have been through and all that is to come. You may have had to endure months of treatment by knife, chemicals or radiation until you are probably sick of the whole business, both literally and metaphorically. Now is the time to heal, both body and mind. This critical stage of the journey, the recovery process that must be gone through, happens in three stages: recuperation, convalescence, and rehabilitation. This distinction represents the different stages that must be passed through and completed before moving on to the next one – each builds upon the other, although there will not necessarily be a clear dividing line between them.
In therapy I listen to client’s distress about their experiences of pain and discomfort and their fears for the future. I witness their sense of overwhelm, both physical and psychological, and validate all their experiences, whilst teaching them how to reduce stress and anxiety and making good wellbeing choices for themselves to promote healing, recuperation, convalescence, and rehabilitation.
The combination of being truly heard by someone who understands what you’re going through, gaining new perspectives about what’s going on and why, making new choices about what to do about the things you want to change (and grieving the things you can’t change), developing new skills and healthy habits, and feeling the benefits of those can lead to a real sense of freedom and agency, which is so important for your wellbeing: you can embrace self-compassion and get back to your true self despite physical challenges.
You can find out more about my therapy and fees here https://www.theexetercounsellor.com/how-it-works/ and options for contacting me here https://www.theexetercounsellor.com/contact-me/.
