Our experiences of being raised in our family of origin have profound effects on us throughout our lives. The implicit lessons we learned in childhood, about how to give and receive love and affection, how to communicate with others, what to expect from relationships with friends and lovers and those we don’t see eye to eye with, how to deal with anger and rage and other intense feelings, who we are and what our place in the world is, all stay with us and impact the choices we make about work, relationships, friendships and self-care. These choices can ultimately hold us back, put us in difficult relationships that don’t meet our needs and lead to high levels of distress, betrayal, and even divorce.
In therapy I help clients to consider their family of origin experiences so that they can understand why they interact with others in the way that they do, can consider whether that’s hindering them, and if so, how they can learn to communicate more authentically and get what they want and need from their relationships. I also invite them to tell me their story, when they’re ready, to consider their ancestors experiences (inherited family trauma may be relevant), their childhood experiences and everything that they have experienced since then, good and bad, to help them to understand their sense of self, their “life script”, and how they might like to change it for the better.
The combination of gaining new perspectives about what’s going on and why, making new choices about what to do about the things you want to change, developing new skills and healthy habits, and feeling the benefits of those can lead to a real sense of freedom and agency, which is so important for our wellbeing: it’s possible to discover your full potential once you embrace self-compassion and free yourself from limiting beliefs.
You can find out more about inherited family trauma here https://www.theexetercounsellor.com/epigenetics-and-inherited-family-trauma/.
You can find out more about my therapy and fees here https://www.theexetercounsellor.com/how-it-works/ and options for contacting me here https://www.theexetercounsellor.com/contact-me/.
