A phobia is an uncontrollable, irrational, and lasting fear of a certain object, situation, or activity. If we experience such a fear, it can be overwhelming, and cause such anxiety and panic, that we may go to great lengths to avoid the source of this fear, even when there is no real danger. Examples include a fear of flying (fearing the plane will crash), dogs (fearing the dog will bite or attack), closed-in places (fear of being trapped), tunnels (fearing a collapse), heights (fear of falling) and of course spiders (fear of being attacked!). Phobias can happen in early childhood but are often first seen between 15 and 20. Knowing logically that we have a specific phobia and that we aren’t really in danger does not help us to overcome it, because when we are confronted with our fear the stress and anxiety it provokes are an indication that our threat response (fight/flight/freeze) has been triggered, and at that point we are not able to think logically, we simply have an overwhelming urge to escape as soon as possible. If a phobia interferes with our life, it can be a huge relief to do something about it.
In therapy I work with clients to improve their quality of life so that they’re no longer limited by their phobias. First, I provide neuroscience psychoeducation so that they can fully understand what’s going on and why, that their bodies and brains are reacting in biologically correct and predictable ways: they are not broken, their feelings are entirely valid. I then teach them how to notice that their threat response has been triggered and then we focus on the skills, tools and tactics needed to find their way to rest and digest, as soon as possible, so that they can think straight and feel comfortable, both physically and emotionally. We also spend time considering new choices about developing healthy habits (physical, emotional and cognitive) which will help to ensure that their threat response is less sensitive (less easily triggered, less often).
Then I use the approach of very gradually increasing exposure to the source of their specific phobia, until the related thoughts, feelings and sensations feel more manageable, fear lessens and no longer controls their life. For example, if you’re afraid of lifts, your therapy may progress from simply thinking about getting into lift, to looking at pictures of lifts, to going near a lift, to stepping into a lift, before using the lift to go up one floor, then several floors, and then several floors in a crowded lift.
The combination of gaining new perspectives about what’s going on and why, making new choices about what to do about the things you want to change, developing new skills and healthy habits, and feeling the benefits of those can lead to a real sense of freedom and agency, which is so important for our wellbeing: you can liberate yourself from your fear.
You can find out more about my therapy and fees here https://www.theexetercounsellor.com/how-it-works/ and options for contacting me here https://www.theexetercounsellor.com/contact-me/.
