The festive season often brings a sense of joy, togetherness, and celebration. However, for many, this time of year can be a source of stress, overwhelming emotions, and anxiety. For those who have experienced trauma or struggle with anxiety, the Christmas and New Year period can be a triggering time. The pressure to “celebrate” can heighten feelings of isolation, sadness, grief or panic, especially if these feelings are compounded by past experiences.
So, I’d like to share some strategies for navigating the festive season while managing anxiety, grounded in a trauma-informed approach. If you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone, and there are ways to support your mental health as you move through this busy, emotional time of year.
- Recognise Your Triggers and Set Boundaries
One of the foundational principles of trauma-informed care is understanding how past experiences influence our present behaviour and emotional responses. Christmas can bring about many triggers — from crowded family gatherings to the pressure of giving or receiving gifts. These triggers can stir up past emotional wounds, making anxiety feel even more intense. Start by identifying what triggers you. Is it the noise of a busy shopping centre? The expectation to engage in social events? A difficult relationship with a family member? Once you’ve identified your triggers, it’s then important to establish boundaries. This might mean limiting social engagements, avoiding certain locations, or giving yourself permission to leave gatherings early. Boundaries are not selfish; they are an essential practice for protecting our well-being.
- Practice Grounding Techniques
Anxiety can cause a feeling of being disconnected from our body or overwhelmed by our emotions. Grounding techniques can help us stay present and calm in moments of distress. Trauma-informed therapy emphasises the importance of mindfulness and body awareness. Here are a few grounding exercises to try:
- 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise: Look around and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This simple technique can help you reconnect with the present moment, reducing feelings of anxiety.
- Breathing Techniques: Deep, slow breathing, in and out of your nose, can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, helping to calm the body’s threat response (fight/flight/freeze). Try the 4-7-8 technique: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds.
- Physical Grounding: If you feel overwhelmed, place your feet flat on the floor, press your palms against a surface, or even hold an object with texture (like a stone or a piece of fabric). This can help you feel more connected to the here and now.
- Allow Yourself to Say No
In the spirit of the season, we often feel pressured to attend every event, buy many gifts, or take on more than we can handle. However, I encourage you to honour your limits. You are not obligated to say “yes” to everything. Saying no is an act of self-compassion, and it’s a way to protect both your emotional and physical health. Remember, it’s okay to prioritise your needs. This might mean declining an invitation or asking for less extravagant gift exchanges. Saying no is not a reflection of how much you love others — it’s about respecting your own psychological and emotional space.
- Focus on What Brings You Comfort
While the festive season can feel stressful, there are also opportunities for comfort and self-care. Consider what small actions bring you peace or joy during this time. For some, it might be a quiet cup of tea, reading a favourite book, or enjoying a walk in nature. Others might find solace in creating a small ritual, like lighting a candle or listening to soothing music. Take time for activities that allow you to recharge, even if they don’t align with societal expectations of seasonal fun. It’s important to honour your personal comfort, rather than trying to force yourself into someone else’s idea of what the Christmas “should” look like.
- Reach Out for Support
If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Many people find that talking to a trusted friend, therapist, or support group can be immensely helpful. Sometimes just knowing that someone is there to listen can ease feelings of isolation. If you’ve experienced trauma, it can be especially important to have a trauma-informed support network. Whether it’s a therapist trained in trauma or a friend who understands your needs, having someone who listens without judgment can provide significant relief. Consider online and in-person support: the support you need might be more accessible than you think.
- Create a Compassionate Mindset
At the heart of trauma-informed care is compassion. Practice self-compassion by allowing yourself to acknowledge that this time of year may be hard, and that it’s okay to not feel joyful all the time. You are allowed to grieve, to feel anxiety, and to experience the ups and downs that come with navigating this time of year. Be gentle with yourself. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on how you can care for yourself with patience and kindness.
- Be Open to New Traditions
Finally, if traditional holiday activities feel overwhelming or too painful, consider creating your own traditions. This could mean spending the day in a way that aligns with your emotional needs, whether that’s volunteering, taking a quiet walk, or simply staying in and doing something comforting. New traditions can help you reclaim this time of year in a way that supports your health and wellbeing.
The festive season is often portrayed as a time of unbridled joy and celebration, but for many of us, it can be fraught with anxiety and emotional challenges. If you’re struggling with anxiety during the Christmas and New Year period, I encourage you to approach the season with compassion, self-awareness, and a trauma-informed mindset. By setting boundaries, practicing grounding techniques, and seeking support when needed, you can navigate this potentially challenging time of year in a way that honours both your well-being and your unique needs. Remember, Christmas doesn’t have to look the same for everyone, and it’s okay to make choices that align with your mental health: we all deserve peace, comfort, and the space to breathe — at our own pace. I wish you a calm and peaceful Christmas and New Year.
