There are several words I’d love to remove from our daily vocabulary. The first is ‘should’ – an implicitly judgy and directional word. The second is ‘perfect’; it’s uncompromising and leaves no room for error or evolving. The idea of perfection is far from perfect.
The beliefs we take on from a really young age influence our behaviour and decision-making before we’re old enough to question them. When we’re little, we can develop the belief that we’re not enough and we think that to become good enough we have to work really hard which lays the foundations for becoming a workaholic in adulthood. Constant striving for perfection can mean that we end up with chronic burnout and anxiety, because life isn’t perfect and, of course, as human beings, we’re all imperfect, too.
Perfection is unattainable and so transient – even if we do something really well, another challenge appears, and we might not do as well. Perfectionism is an unsustainable and deeply self-critical way of living life.
Self-acceptance is key
So, striving for perfection can do damage to our wellbeing, how can we all embrace our wildest, most imperfect selves? Happiness is self-acceptance, accepting who we are, wherever we are on our journey, even when life isn’t anywhere near together, and we’ve got no idea what our next step is. If we just have self-acceptance, that will bring happiness. And learning about our mental health through books, podcasts, reading, or therapy can give us lots of different perspectives on the mind: learning is the route to all change.
Embrace curiosity
We all have the power to be curious, and it can really help when we’re stuck. We can ask better questions of ourselves. Before we jump to a negative conclusion about a situation, we can ask ourselves: Is this true? Can I absolutely know it’s true? How do I react/what happens when I believe that thought? Who would I be without that thought? This helps us to realise that the root of suffering is often in our thoughts. We’re so convinced by our very powerful inner critic that sometimes it takes a professional, or a ‘flexible friend’ who can help us bend our thoughts to another viewpoint. Curiosity is the pathway to freedom, endless possibilities, growth, and a future we couldn’t even dream of.
Focus on your wildest future
I challenge you to think about a sustainable future that lights you up every single day. Try to understand what your wildest self wants, because we often lose sight of ourselves as the demands of life take over. The world will try to tell us who we should be, but when we are our truest, wildest, most authentic self, we are our best ‘us’.
